reversal of fortune

August 30, 2017

apparently, lobster was once fed to prisoners then eventually became quite pricey.  In contrast, peanut butter started out as a “staple” of high society before it became common and widely available to the masses.  The course of history and marketing can affect how a food is perceived – a colleague notes how certain meats are considered consumable by humans while others are taboo.

My philosophy has been to try it at least once ( it’s difficult to be prescriptive about acquired tastes).  If you don’t like something then fair enough.  My point is what I might find delicious other’s might find disgusting.   Case in point. I quite like okra but my wife loathes it – it’s reversed for mayonnaise.   We are all different and there’s no one size fits all when it comes to taste.  I’m glad to be Filipino which has made me open to all kinds of fare whether they are deemed peasant food, street food or “delicacies” (like offal, goat, chicken feet, pig ears, etc.).  Some food is “discovered” by necessity.

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(dis)like

August 28, 2017

at first, I thought divisiveness was only a by-product of politics and the news media.   Some of us exhibit confirmation bias and (often unknowingly) we seek out echo chambers consistent with our point of view.  Recently, I’ve read a book contrary to some of my inclinations.  That said, it’s constructive to actively listen to counter-arguments. It’s our task to convince and not talk-over someone -my experience is that making people feel dumb or pointing-out that they’ve got “silly” ideas is counter-productive.  As the adage goes, you can disagree without being disagreeable. I’ve always believed you can learn from anyone:  what to do and what not to do.  I subscribe to von Bismark’s thoughts on arguing.  I’m open to hearing differing opinions but still have a ways to go.

I “stumbled” on this segment also calling for “openness” when it comes to literature choices:

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/problem-liking-things-find-relatable/

they might be “giants”

February 23, 2017

Newton coined the expression standing on the shoulder of giants. With the advent of the Internet I think this could be extended by adding goblins and gnomes to giants.

Aside from what to do, I think you can also learn from what NOT to do. Hence the term goblins.  I’ve always felt you can gain from people what to emulate and what to avoid.  Granted some of this may be repetitious but sometimes lessons need to be repeated to ensure they are drilled in thoroughly.

I subscribe to the wisdom of the crowd and individual empowerment.  You can also build upon ideas of people who might not be considered as giants in their field – that’s why I use the term gnome to highlight the contrast.  An idea may be good despite its origin.  Admittedly, we are more likely to learn from “experts” (being a teacher in a former life, it would be hypocritical to think otherwise).  That said, we also need to be open and allow cross-pollination from other disciplines or differing opinions.  All ideas must be given a fair chance.

The original quote will always be valid but IMHO it can do with an adaption to our times.

relativity

January 11, 2017

everyone is entitled to whinge about their problems (or physically express them) but you have to know your audience.  Forgive my callousness but originally hailing from the Philippines where 90% of the population live below the poverty line (despite the majority working extremely hard to improve their lot), having a wife who required a kidney transplant after falling pregnant with our son (she was previously on haemodialysis six days a week and was hospitalised several times and had to be brought in to Emergency via ambulance) and living with an Acquired Brain Injury (ABI that’s unnamed and resulting in compromised in balance and co-ordination) for nearly a decade some issues seem like “high-class” problems to me.  It’s not that they shouldn’t complain but choose carefully the person(s) to share it with.

I know I should be more empathetic but it frustrates me when people feel entitled – ever seen the film, Blue Jasmine.  It’s just people should learn to adjust and adapt to their circumstances – all of us have our own crosses to bear but, with me, for the most part they’re barking up the wrong tree.

one fine day

January 7, 2017

my wife’s niece is getting married later today.

The Filipino tradition (Hispanic in origin ) arras (13 coins) presented by the bridegroom to the bride was rightly scraped by the couple and didn’t make much sense in the Australian context.  We shouldn’t be so beholden or precious with rituals and just welcome the nod to recognising heritage.  This type of symbolism should be changed to suit (or eliminated entirely).

My view on marriage is it shouldn’t be an outdated institution but a living-breathing social construct (that’s not for everyone and should be an individual’s choice and not dictated by societal convention) that’s adaptable to present realities.  In fairness, they did scrap “obey” from the vows.  Legal divorce in the Philippines (if I’m not mistaken, we’re the last holdout country) is a seperate issue.

There’s even a proposal for 10-year terms instead of forever.  This might not be the solution to the “high” rate of divorce but the conversation’s welcome.  Silver, Golden and Diamond anniversaries seem to be unrealistic  given wedding as teens is no longer the norm.

Do we now put to much emphasis on the day itself (encouraged by an entire industry) and not the upcoming unified life?

Full disclosure:  Have been married now for a little over 14 years

we recently came back from an interstate trip.   we watched a concert, ate somewhere I wanted to go and caught up with good friends while we were there.  I don’t say it enough but I had a wonderful time with my family. I reflected on what I have (hopefully I’ll be more conscious of the things I need to be grateful for).

In some ways it’a blessing that my condition is unknown – that way I don’t have a set expiry date and are encouraged to make the most of each day.  I don’t know when “my last good day is” so I should try to make the most while I still am able to.

It’s true what they say:  something just clicks.  It’s not about when other people prescribe  you should be “ready” but when you realise it for yourself (for some it’s about “hitting rock bottom”).  It’s about others facilitating but not dictating.

I’ve made a deliberate choice to try to make hay of the resources given to me while I still can (but still remaining pragmatic – I’ve a son and wife after all).

not so very good bad day

December 14, 2016

yesterday, everything that could go wrong did.  There are just days like that – it didn’t help that I couldn’t exercise the day before (it seems that’s how I deal with stress).  I’m not a big fan of disability being used as inspiration porn – it’s merely a snapshot and we experience bad days too.  Some times are like insurance write-offs – we should be allowed to feel grumpy occasionally (although knowing my personality, I’m surprised this doesn’t occur more often).   We’ve just learnt to deal with the situation and put one foot in front of the other.

Some people use reality tv (and disability) to feel better about their own lives.  Other people’s plight should be a source of empathy or compassion and don’t exist for others’ motivation (if it “inspires” you to be a better person than well and good but if it only stops you from whinging because you feel lucky or blessed then deeper reflection is needed).

Everyone likes to watch fails (myself included) – experiencing Schadenfreude is natural for humans.  My own experiences leads me to believe that externalities as a source of joy can’t compensate for the “emptiness”(they can only make life more “bearable”).