i have something called nystagmus (that’s a fancy way of saying my eyes dart around involuntarily). it’s not very pronounced so you need to consciously look for it. it manifests itself by me not seeing “very far”, my central vision being “blurry”, and my inability to read subtitles now – i use a magnifier when the fonts are “too small” as glasses don’t really help since it’s not a “lens” (the irony isn’t lost on me since that’s how my family and childhood friends refer to me) issue. my depth perception is compromised – i’ve always known intellectually that this is a likely effect but for some reason i only made the “connection” a few weeks ago. it’s more obvious to me as i played a lot of point guard in basketball and had a “decent” outside shot (i was particularly “skilled” at making free throws) – i now have trouble catching and throwing a ball.

the good thing is that i should have double vision but my brain compensated so i don’t experience this phenomenon and don’t get headaches. unfortunately when people should see two usually, i don’t based on my neurophysio tests.

balance can also be affected (that’ why PTs ask you to close your eyes to make a task “more difficult”). fortunately, all the core work they’ve asked me to do lately helps make this less of a factor.

i wonder how i’ll cope if i lose my vision entirely as i rely on a rollator frame and am claustrophobic…

just learned there are only two fears we are all born with: falling ad loud noises. apparently, we pick up the others along the way – i’m guessing through other people or our own experiences. it would have been handy to have known this fact sooner as a parent – having “mostly” already raised my son.

if i could only figure out where my claustrophobia came from then i can address it better…