great expectations (2)

May 16, 2017

i’m currently reading the book: Love that Boy by Ron Fournier.  I originally bought it because of my son and it’s supposed to be how fathers exert pressures on boys.  My wife has also read it and I realised it’s food for thought for all parents raising a child regardless of their gender.  While I agree with what’s mostly written, I’m a little bit conflicted having taught before:  children often meet the high expectations imposed by their teachers.  Like everything in life, I guess it’s a balancing act.


January 13, 2017

my wife’s grandmother is turning 100.  We will attend the celebration. She has a big family (180 guests, 120 of which are relatives) so we’re staying offsite.

What’s special about her is that she still has her mental faculties and some of her physical acuity (in fact, she still does the household laundry).  I think her “secret” is constantly being and remaining active.  If I ever manage to get close to her age, hopefully I’ll be the same.

As I will have intermittent Internet access, you might notice a “slight” hiatus but I’ll resume this when I get back.

call me (maybe)

December 20, 2013

my mum calls every weekend. It’s structured the same (not that I’m complaining) – on reflection, the consistency of it all seems to bring me some  comfort.  She did this even before my before my condition – I guess she thinks it’s more important now. Our chats have always been brief – I’ve never been much of a talker.  Most would say it’s a bit ritualistic – but knowing the intent behind it changes the context. Maybe it’s force of habit or force of nature but I don’t reciprocate even if I know I should. I don’t expect it but I’ll miss it if it stops.

surprise, surprise

July 19, 2013

we were back in Manila recently for my mum’s surprise 70th – we arrived the night before the dinner party which was the day of her actual  birthday.   My brother arranged so that we stayed at a lower floor in a condo in their building.

She was genuinely shocked to see us ( my son handed her roses at the start )- we even called her that morning and we were in league with my dad so that we did not accidentally run into her as we had our haircut in Makati.  However, there was a whole mishap getting to the venue (the details of which I’ll spare you).  Suffice it to say, we arrived before them – thank God for once for the unprectability of Philippine traffic.

My younger brother and his wife did a bang-up job of organising the event.  You could feel my brother’s stress levels but it worked out in the in spite of the “issues” that cropped-up.  My mother’s close friends from high school, college, the military, and mah jong were there. There was a video presentation which took a lot of effort from my brother and his friend (involving long weeknights and sacrifing weekends.) There were also messages from my dad, her sister, and myself.     There was a video prepared by the oldest apo that featured all the grandkids.  As the program started late, non-essentials were cut like trivia questions.  At the end, there was dancing because both my parents enjoy cutting the rug.  Later on we found out despite various slip ups, the surprise was not ruined.  All in all, it was a great night.

Since it was a short “holiday” as my wife had to get back to work and my son only had a brief school  break, we were very tired – but it was very much worth it.  Only four more “short” years until my parents’s golden wedding anniversary…

everything AND the girl

July 11, 2013

One of my favorite bands was Everything But The Girl (EBTG):  not only because I enjoyed their music but I liked their lyrics; song and album titles; as well as their name (even if they were named after a shop that tries to sell almost everything, it just goes you that a purely commercial endevour cannot offer true love try as they might).   I last followed them with “Walking Wounded” and after that they became to “electronica”  for my taste:  their last album that I related to was “Amplified Heart.”

I think differently from my wife and we often do not agree save for some major things.  Even before, I was not the easiest bloke to get on with – much more to live with.   I would not  have blamed her for leaving – in fact I understand the reasons why.   Thankfully she has stuck around.

There is something about her that I cannot  put into words (not that it has stopped me from trying obviously).  To paraphrase the tagline from Gattaca (one of my favourite movies of all time):  there is no gene for the human soul.  She complements me: she is the yin to my yang.  I do not believe in perfection but she is damn near  close to an ideal partner for me – she does what she can and continues to smile despite our trying circumstances.  This is my much muted attempt to shout it from the rooftops:  surely this will last much longer than carving “I heart Rhoda” on a tree.

It does not matter how many times you tell other people – it is like the sound of a tree falling in the woods and no one hears – but to the actual object of your affection  You should tell the other person how you feel about them everyday – intellectually I understand but it is not in my nature. I know I do not say it nearly as often enough:  I love you.