ba(d)lance

was at my neurophysio today and had a ‘bad balance day.’ still trying to think of a single ’cause’ despite knowing occurrences are ‘by and large multifactorial’. it could have been due to a ‘combination’ of things and not just ‘purely physical’ (although i can’t discount my age)…

be prepared

while starting to pack for just an overnight trip, i noticed some may say i ‘over-prepare.’ i tend to be ready for various situations (so much so that my dad mistakenly thought i was once a boy scout). which was good, since i tend to be ready (and others aren’t) and part of several former roles involved risk management. despite the ‘skill for easily identifying potential problems’, i think i should learn ‘to tone down my paranoia and anxiety’ for ‘personal situations’…

luck of the draw

i’ve heard of a ‘gratitude practice numerous times before, but for the most part have a ‘knowing-doing gap. Angela and Mike discuss in this podcast a ‘luck audit’ (a ‘corollary’ of this for all intents and purposes) that IMHO seems ‘more doable:

What’s So Great About Meritocracy?

true

some people may wonder why i have at least one blog entry about the AAC daily…

this is mainly to have a commitment device to try and form a habit. while this ‘project’ may be considered prosocial, this is for the most part the concept of ‘warm-glow giving’ (WGG) where it is essentially out of self-interest to feel good. some may be ‘outraged’ this isn’t rooted in altruism, but how realistic is this: in my over 50 years on this ‘plane of existence’, i only know (knew since one has passed) of two people i’d truly consider as such. although there may be a hint for this purpose, its primarily motivated by WGG. and as i’m only human, although loathe to admit it, i’m sure there”s a degree of virtue signalling.

coffee: on the ‘power’ of being able to do small things

at first i thought it was just about the coffee seeing as i enjoy the stuff. so what’s different?

my neurophysio had suggested a keep-cup several months ago since i couldn’t handle ‘traditional’ drinking vessels (straws are great for ‘cooler’ liquids but not so much for ‘hot’ beverages). i was thrilled since it had been over a decade i could partake this concoction on my own without my wife’s assistance. trouble was, although we had a coffee machine (French Presses – i had several throughout the years -work well but i can no longer safely use one) that needed pods. sometime i got in one go as you had to drop the pod manually but at times it took me several attempts (or failure to operate it all) since it required a certain ‘dexterity’ for it to function properly. looking back at it now – it might be silly – but i quit using it probably because of frustration.

my wife bought a new one for me for Christmas. i’m still getting the hang of it but it seems ‘better’ than the previous one – it must be good as it was highly recommended by her niece and the price hasn’t dropped for about two years since it was released (despite launching a more recent model).

sure, i appreciate a good cup but as i reflect on it that probably isn’t the primary reason why: it’s the ability to have one when i feel like it and not be beholden to anybody’s timetable. i only realised now it was a ‘coping mechanism’ – a way to keep my mental health (i’m probably attributing more to it but i don’t have a lot of vices). it isn’t a ‘life hack’ but impactful to me. i suspect it’s not really that others don’t share these ‘tips’ but how can you find what you need (or want) given the ‘sea of information’ available? it shouldn’t take years…

in your NDIS plan there are goals but to someone that developed ‘low expectations’ over the years, this might seem ‘big and ‘overwhelming”. aside from never being asked before, these might be difficult to achieve. i think we need help to break this down into subgoals – then those further into ‘achievable’ steps. IMHO, this doesn’t only lay the ‘groundwork’ as it builds capability but, importantly, also the confidence to try to challenge yourself. i’m sure much smarter and wiser people have come up with this idea before – the question then becomes: why don’t we know about it?

the walk: on endurance and motivation

i told one of my neurophysios i needed to “rest”/stop after 20 minutes of walking. bless her heart, she “estimated” my “effort” was equivalent to about three hours of walking for an able-bodied individual (i’m guessing it’s probably “closer”to about two hours). my daily exercises have increased it from about 10 (don’t quote me on that) to 20 minutes but what she said “shook” me: if i “lost” five minutes every two years: i’d be only able to manage five minutes in six years!

i asked for a “practical target” (as that’s seem to have worked for me in the past). she suggested that 60 minutes she thinks would cover most activities. using my “logic” to project out using a linear function (which is unrealistic since i’m not a robot and will tire): this is about six hours to another person. nonetheless, i need to work on building my endurance to “boost” my current capabilities.

like one of my neurophysios say, we need to work on what we can to prolong my “independence” for as long as possible. i have begun “slowly” by trying to remain standing whilst watching TV. Also, i am currently noting my speed/RPMs (like was suggested to me) and not just increase the duration on the stationary bike.

while motivation has been tied to “success” – it has recently been reiterated to me that it’s definition should be expanded to what’s personally important and not just the “narrow” criteria of what society dictates (as a migrant i’ve noticed some “variability” in certain aspects).

spinning around: on sitting at the back seat of cabs and headaches

i recently returned seeing my nerophysio again because South Australia is gradually lifting isolation restrictions due to COVID-19.

it feels weird to sit in the back to maintain physical distance as I usually sit upfront. there is an increased “challenge” of manoeuvring in and putting on the rear seatbelt, until yesterday i forgot why i preferred the “old” way. let’s just say i didn’t have a “talented” driver and my headache was compounded by sitting at the back.

unfortunately, i can’t do much about this – it’s simply the luck of the draw as my previous rides had been okay…

when things (start to) fall apart: on the effects of ageing

i racked my brain for reasons some things that happened to me recently but i couldn’t think of any likely culprits so i concluded it’s probably due to ageing.

had an “advanced” birthday recently. last week, i “chipped” part of my back molar and my dentist tried a “temporary” fix first (depending on how “bad” it ends up being an “elaborate” procedure might be required) – she said it probably would be much worse had i not worn my night guard every day. Moreover, my right ankle started “hurting” this week when i placed any weight on it. as i didn’t seem to do anything to it that obvious, my neurophysio thinks i probably “tweaked” it during my sleep.

i never really minded getting any “niggles” – it’s only a concern now as i don’t want it to compound my current circumstances.

back for good(?): on the “notable” absence of posts for several weeks

it’s been over a month since my last entry – this post is not an excuse but an explanation.

for nearly the first fortnight of December we were overseas: Taiwan-China-Hong Kong. my wife had to present a paper so we took the opportunity to explore afterwards

it’s true that i had my phone with me but condition were not “conducive” for blogging for me. never mind our nearly full-schedule but the “small” on-screen keyboard is extremely challenging for me – this requires significant time and effort, not to mention my frequent mis-hits. i prefer a full-sized physical keyboard and “big” screen so i can “easily” type.

the second half of December was mainly allocated to my wife’s sister. seeing as she went through a long and arduous journey from America to spend Chrissy with her family in Australia, we had to make the most of her “short” time here.

now that she’s back home, i will endeavour to get back to the swing of things and try to post more “regularly” ( sometimes life gets in the way and i have a tendency to “process” things before i post – “overanalyses” is my proclivity i’ve been told numerous times).

that’s my story and i’m sticking to it!

stop, look, and listen: on the effect of temporarily stopping my daily exercise program and some “interesting: ecounters with taxi drivers

CAVEAT:  you might have noticed that my title format has slightly changed.  i’m still starting it off with what ever comes to mind and after the colon i’ve appended what i think the post is about (you might interpret it differently or have an alternative understanding when you “read between the lines”).  it has been brought to my attention that some readers may not want to go through the entire thing for the title to make any sense.  this is not an egregious attempt to increase ‘likes’  or to act as ‘click-bait’ but shouldn’t it be part of ‘sharing’ to make stuff ‘more digest-able’ – looks like i still have a ways to go.

i underwent a medical procedure recently – recovery time is typically from one to two days –  because of my age it took me three days. so i temporarily stopped my daily exercise program for about two weeks – this affected me but i didn’t notice right away.  it became first obvious to me at a speech pathology session.  i used to get through them just fine even if they were during the afternoons – i didn’t feel winded afterwords but my sound production performance faltered occasionally.  Moreover when i went to my regular neurophysio appointment, she could physically feel the difference – i found out that apparently pain can also cause your muscles to “relax”.  At first i had done this to reduce my anxiety levels (but perhaps because i now take a natural supplement for it it’s less pronounced) but, also very importantly, getting my core strength up not only helps me avoid falls (and minimises potential injury) but also helps my speech.  Suffice it to say i’ve started up again and hoping to get back to the level i once was.

these aren’t directly related but are also from recent “trips” outside my house so…

i want to whinge about the three (let me be clear: not all or even a majority of them) taxi drivers driving skills were really bad:  the sudden stops-and- starts, not slowing down enough to take a round about, or abrupt jerking of the steering wheel.  These gave me a headache despite sitting in front and having the road visible – imagine how much worse i would have felt if i sat in the back.  i was going to complain about another thing but in hindsight one of my drivers was “self-obsessed’ that he would have acted that way to an “able-bodied” passenger.

Despite using my “letter board”, some drivers (not only taxi drivers but one support worker), still misunderstood me.  i suspect it’s either because they’re not patient enough to listen or having a preconceived notion of what i’m going to say (Ding!  Ding!  Ding!:  it’s usually wrong).  i understand that my speech can be hard to understand especially since this is probably the first time we’ve talked (on a few occasions i get the same drivers) but mistakes ca be avoided:  like going the wrong direction, it’s on the other side, that’s the wrong address, accidentally running me over,  etc.

we just want to feel listened to.  here’s a video by Purple Orange (it kind of reminds me of the You Can’t Ask That format on the ABC) about diverse communication shared on Darryl Selwood(Ph.D.)’s blog:  http://darrylsellwood.com/?p=998.  While i don’t  relate to everything said, i agree with the central premise of respect and the underlying theme of “not judging a book by its cover”.

it is very easy for me to accuse the drivers of not thinking: parking too close to the incline, the ramp, or curb so it’s “tricky” for me to get into or out of the car;  dropping me off by an entrance with only stairs ; driving “far” the door so need to cross the street, walk “some” distance, or negotiate a challenging surface (like inclines, uneven surfaces, pebbles, etc.); ask me directions or instruct them where to pass or stop; or turn the meter on while i’m still trying to get in the car (i believe the law states it should be only activated when i’m seated).  sometimes they can’t be bothered or are in a rush but sometimes i think it’s because they haven’t been exposed to or educated about disability – these are tasks they take for granted so there’s a need for more “training”.

FINAL WORD (let me know if these prompt helps with readability or i should go for more “traditional” headings – i know a poll is a more suitable for this but i probably won’t get enough respondents for a truly statistically valid result and, frankly, confronting my readership numbers scares me).  There’s a tension between keeping the post short-and-sweet and making it comprehensive enough to be informative – after all like they say, perfect is the enemy of good. Moreover timing is an issue, some thoughts have an ‘expiry date’ while others not so much.  While Twitter isn’t for me (trolls aside), it take me some time to type – this has the added bonus of letting me reflect and not simply reacting, All-in-all, i’m still struggling with the balance.  Furthermore, i feel the pressure to post frequently – as evidenced by the number of “self-corrections” right after i publish – when i should learn to recheck my drafts first.