you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry
July 23, 2013
I’ve not had a major “episode” for a while now – I’m not sure how much is due to mellowing with age or my altered circumstances (I neither drive nor work now.) Part of is my high expectations and another is my very nature. I try not to bottle up my emotions or expect others to do what is “right” – I still struggle with those demons but I’m gradually managing it better. It’s difficult when your vision goes all red – I’m just trying my best to steer clear of those triggers but unfortunately you can’t always avoid them. It was so bad that I once made a grown man cry – it’s a strange mix of pride and regret. My son sometimes refers to me as “angry dad”. It’s something I’m working on. It’s unlikely that this will disappear all together – I just need to be much more conscious of it.
Part of what attracted me to my wife is that she’s the only person that I’ve met that doesn’t shy away from me when I’m in the midst of a black mood.